I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Jerry, you need to find god
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
