did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
