i think i have herpe
just one?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
