That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
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She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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