i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
