Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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