He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
