I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
