It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
