Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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