ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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