Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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