Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
PANTIES FOUND
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