he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
