Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
