i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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