It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
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Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
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Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
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