If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
