Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
