I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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