he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
