dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize