Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
