ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
