We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
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