from now on my penis is your penis
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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