Pappa wants mamma naked
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize