They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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