obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Oh god it's open bar.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
