Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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