it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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