Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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