remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
