Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
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