too bad you live with your parents still
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Randomize
