i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
