just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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