what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
her facebook's as public as her vagina
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
