I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
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