there's paper in my vomit.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
