I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Randomize