It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
i came on her dog
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
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