your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize