Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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