i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
