but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
