ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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