You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
COCAINE IS GR8
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
