If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
