Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
