i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize