Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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