And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
