names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
