Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Randomize
