i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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