It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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