At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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