brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
