Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
kristin has been a bad kristin
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Randomize
