It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
