she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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