Need sex. Gaining weight.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
