Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
