ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
