I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
