that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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