Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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